Dealing with difficult people

I had a great conversation this morning with a woman who is struggling with a difficult family member. I think we can all relate to someone in our lives who is hard to be around and makes it a struggle to respond in a Christ-like way.

One of the scriptures I reminded her of (and I remind myself when I am faced with difficult people) is Ephesians 6:12
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

It is not any one person that is our enemy, the devil and his forces are the ones we are called to battle! Remind yourself, that person is not your enemy. They may be under the influence of some of those “principalities and powers” that the scripture talks about, but the good news is: we have authority over those things!

Do you dread being around that individual? Do you struggle to have a gracious and loving response to their attitudes? It doesn’t have to be that way. Here are a few things my husband and I have learned to do that have helped us tremendously in dealing with difficult people.

1. Take authority in the spirit over the atmosphere, words and negativity beforehand.

My husband and I have learned through experience that the more we battle in the spiritual, the less we will have to battle in the natural. The more we recognize the real enemy involved, the more we can battle him beforehand. We have noticed much less opposition when we do this. God didn’t give us authority for no reason, use it!

2. Pray for yourself.

God wants to make you more like Him! However, he is a gentlemen. He doesn’t force himself upon you. Have you asked him for his grace, peace and gentleness? Ask him to help you to love the individual the way he does. Ask him to help you to respond to any negativity in a way that would glorify him.

3. Pray for them.

It sure becomes hard to have a bad attitude towards someone you are praying for on a regular basis. One thing I have noticed, is that the more I pray for someone, the more my heart grows for them. I begin to feel God’s love and compassion for them. I also begin to earnestly desire God’s best for them (rather than vengeance). Hurting people, hurt people. The more we pray for that person, the more we can sense their hurt and show mercy.

4. Don’t react, respond.

Reacting is immediate and emotional. Responding is thought-out and gracious. Don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind, be prudent. Your words have power. The last thing you want to do is ruin your testimony or your witness to that person over a heat-of-the-moment reaction. There isn’t anything wrong with finishing a conversation at a later time if you are too emotional to handle it in the moment

Hope that helps!
Mel Miller