Marriage is a blast, but it doesn’t come without its challenges. In the first years of marriage, you get to know the weaknesses and strengths of both yourself and your spouse really well. Like any relationship, you will naturally get frustrated with each others weaknesses. For some peculiar and illogical reason, we seem to think that criticism will change the other person (criticism hasn’t worked for years, why would it now?)
As a wife, I have found myself becoming critical. I may have the prudence at times to keep it in my head, but nevertheless those thoughts still hit me…
Why is he always running late to x,y and z?
Why can’t he drive ____________ (slower, faster, more cautiously…)?
Why has he procrastinated ________________?
Why is he loosing things all the time?
Okay, I am totally not trying to throw my husband under the bus…I’m simply giving examples.
This morning I was folding laundry and I thought about how my husband hasn’t had any clean socks lately (my fault, I am behind on laundry). One of the things I have criticized my husband for (at least, mentally…sorry, sweetheart) is always running late to work. He isn’t always running late, but criticism has a tendency to enlarge and exaggerate.
Then a thought dropped into my heart (if it’s loving but convicting, it’s probably the Holy Spirit!)…if I am created to be his helper or helpmate (Genesis 2) then everything doesn’t fall on his shoulders. If there is an area that needs improvement (even if it falls under “his” category of responsibility), could it be that I could do a better job of being his helper? Could it be that my husband wouldn’t be running late as often if I would help fix his lunch or make sure he has a pair of matching, clean socks?
Think about the areas you have criticized your spouse or others…is there a way you could help them become better? I don’t want to stand before the Lord at the end of my life pointing my critical finger at all the areas other people around me didn’t measure up. I have a feeling the Lord will ask me what I did to help make them better.
Don't Settle,
Mel Miller
2 comments:
Thanks mel! I have really been convicted about being a "helpful wife" lately. It is surely not the role the world around us encourages, and it can be so hard to embrace! I appreciate the encouragement!
Oh how perfect and true this is!! We are so quick to point out those "Things" that make us crazy, when sometimes it's a part of the very reason we fell in love with our spouses in the first place.
Shaun is one of those "Late" runners and it used to make me crazy until God opened my eyes to Why he was late. Usually it was because he had gotten busy doing something for someone else because he has an amazing servant's heart. To make him constantly "On time" would be denying the very person God created him to be.
Every time I start to feel this way God always takes me to Proverbs 21 and I am quickly corrected and humbled :D
Post a Comment