What to do with heartache

Provoked
Irritated
Sad Heart
Distressed
Weeping Bitterly
Troubled in spirit
Great Anxiety
Vexed


Have you ever found yourself experiencing one of these emotions?
All of these are descriptions of how Hannah was feeling in 1 Samuel 1. Barren, and taunted because of it, she went to the temple to cry out to the Lord to give her a son.


We can learn a lot from the way Hannah handled her troubles:

1. Hannah didn’t take things into her own hands.

On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters.5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb.

Peninnah sounds like nothing more than a schoolyard bully. She mine as well have been saying, “Na na na na na, I have kids and YOU DON’T!” Hannah could have fought back, plotted revenge, or like Abrahams wife Sarah she could used a maidservant to take it into her own hands.
Hannah chose to trust the Lord. She chose to run to Him during her time of trouble. She didn’t spew hatred back at Peninnah or try to figure things out on her own. Instead, Hannah ran to the Lord to fight her battle for her. She trusted it was Him who could bring her victory.

2. Hannah poured out her soul to the Lord.

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman.14 And Eli said to her, "How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you."15 But Hannah answered, "No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.

By default, we often call a friend or family member when we have something to vent about. If Peninnah was as mean as she seemed, it would have been easy for Hannah to find an ally to agree with her. Instead, Hannah was found pouring her soul out to the Lord in prayer with such intensity that Eli thought she was drunk!
Hannah modeled the importance and power of prayer. She came in like a cup full of dirt - sadness, anxiety and irritation. When she left, verse 18 says her face was no longer sad. The most powerful part about prayer is that we empty ourselves of the filth and God fills us up with his spirit and his promises.

3. Hannah gave credit to the Lord for her victory.

19 They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, "I have asked for him from the Lord."

Hannah bore a son, the promise God gave her came to pass. Many times when we get a breakthrough in our circumstances, we move on with our lives and forget that it was the Lord who did it all. Hannah dedicated her son to God, and named him Samuel because it meant “I have asked for him from the Lord.” His life was a constant reminder that it wasn’t luck, good fortune or happenstance that brought victory -- it was the Lord!


If you can relate to some of the emotions Hannah was experiencing, would you pray this prayer with me today?

Lord, I thank you that I don't need to take things into my own hands but I can trust you. Thank you that I am able to pour out my soul to you and that you hear my prayers. I pray for victory in my circumstances and that when the breakthrough comes, I would give you all the honor, glory and praise. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Don't Settle,
Melissa Miller

Glued Together

“…To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.”


If you are married, then you undeniably remember repeating those vows, or something similar in the presence of your pastor and loved ones on that special day. I vividly remember the teary eyed commitment I made to my handsome groom at a tulip garden in little ol’ Philomath, Oregon. Here we are, almost 8 years and three children later! Thankfully, by the grace of God, more passionately in love today than the day we said those vows.

I’ll be honest, though. There aren’t many times that I sit and think about that covenant I made with him and those powerful words we spoke, but I did a few nights ago. We had a disagreement. He went to bed and I stayed up, still stewing in my frustration. Pride ensued and I thought, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” I laid my head down, thinking my idea was a great one. Then I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. It wasn’t audible, but my heart was filled with his gentle voice,

“Melissa, go to bed with your husband.”
Ignore.
“Melissa, go to bed with your husband.”
Ugh, ignore.
“Melissa…”
Okay, okay.

I rejected my pride and climbed into bed. As I laid down, I felt a peace wash over me. Although nothing had changed in the natural between my husband and I, something changed in the spiritual. I did not allow the enemy to create division in my marriage. I reflected on the vows I took and how those vows are indicative of choosing unity with him, even when I don’t feel like it.

Although sleeping on the couch seemed like such a little thing, I realized it was a step towards distance and disunity, and it would be much easier to do again the next time we had an argument. Pretty soon, the distance of sleeping on the couch wouldn’t be enough distance and perhaps I would want to go sleep at my relatives house? I could see clearly the deceptive traps of the enemy. The devil divides, God unites.

Mark 10:7-9 says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

In that natural, we look like two people but in the spiritual we have been made one. We have been super-glued together by God. If you have ever super-glued your fingers together, you know how much it is painful to try and tear it apart. I’m thankful our marriage is under God’s blessing and covering, because He is truly the glue that holds our marriage together in unity and peace. Each year, when we celebrate the anniversary of that covenant we made, with Christ at the center, we will be able to have the same testimony: that we are more in love with each other than we were on the day we made those vows.

If you are a married woman, would you pray this prayer with me today?

Lord, I thank you that we love because you first loved us (1 John 4:19). I pray that you would help me as a wife to continue to remember the covenant I made with my husband. I pray that you would protect our marriage from the plans of the enemy to divide. Instead, fill us with the unity of your Spirit and a continual aim to lay down our lives for one another. In Jesus name, Amen.

Don't Settle,
Mel Miller

What is it about the love of God?

My husband had the opportunity to speak at The City youth ministry over the weekend. As time lead up to the service he kept asking me, “Honey, what should I speak about?” Every time he would ask me this I would jokingly say; “Just talk about the love of God. Every time someone talks about the love of God there isn’t a dry eye in the place. It’s always powerful and everyone cries.” We laughed thinking back on all the messages we have heard about God’s love and how truly impacting that topic always seems to be.

Brandon didn’t use the entire message to speak on God’s love but he did end up talking about it in his third point. He began to explain that God’s love for us is so great that he gave to us the best gift he could possibly think of: his one and only son. We all have heard the scripture many times, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. Sure enough, it was that moment that the message shifted from a humorous message to one that brought tears into peoples eyes (even his, although he probably will blame it on allergies or something). I hate to say I told you so, my love.

So what is it about the Love of God, anyway? Why is it that when the Love of God is spoken about, something powerful happens in the atmosphere?

I think most of us could think of a time when someone told us they loved us but their actions proved otherwise. We see examples of “love” that are only examples of relationships centered around money, power or what one person can do for another. It is because of these experiences that we develop a false perception of love, and often times have a hard time receiving it ourselves.

When I was fourteen, I was taken in by an amazing family. They loved me but I couldn’t understand why. They hung stockings up for me for Christmas each year, and called me their sister and daughter. In the back of my mind I thought to myself that maybe one day I would be rich and repay them. I thought that one day I could help alleviate the burden they carried by financial compensation. I didn’t think they could actually just love me because (gulp) I was me. Funny thing is, they still love me and consider me family in spite of the fact I can’t really “give them anything in return.”

It wasn’t until I became a parent that I understood a fraction of this rare unconditional love that our God has for us. Each time I hold my child in my arms, I am filled with an uncontrollable love. I know that even one day if they spit in my face and walk away from everything I have taught them, (although my heart will break) my love for them will still remain. Of course there is consequences for disobedience but even discipline is an act of love (Hebrews 12:6).

This is the kind of love we all desire. A love that bears with us through our faults, failures and mistakes. A love that will pursue us even when we don’t deserve it and we haven’t earned it. A love that helps us be better, strive for more and remind us that we have value and worth (even when we don’t feel like we are valuable or worthy). A love that gives us the freedom to be ourselves, quirks, flaws and all. One that doesn’t give up on us when things get hard.

This is the kind of love God has for us, the love that many of us ignore as we continue to strive for the counterfeit approval of man. We have nothing to offer God that could possibly earn or deserve the kind of love he has offered to us. This is why it brings tears to people’s eyes; it’s an outrageous, relentless, unfathomable, hard-to-receive kind of love!


Don't Settle,
Mel Miller



Dirty Feet

Have you ever shared your faith and experienced rejection? Or perhaps encountered the unrelenting debater or cynical mocker? Times like this can be frustrating and if we allow them to, they can discourage us from continuing to share our faith again.

^{Matthew 10: 5-14 5} These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying: “Do not go into the way of the Gentiles, and do not enter a city of the Samaritans. ⁶ But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. ⁷ And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ ⁸ Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. ⁹Provide neither gold nor silver nor copper in your money belts, ¹⁰ nor bag foryour journey, nor two tunics, nor sandals, nor staffs; for a worker is worthy of his food.
¹¹ “Now whatever city or town you enter, inquire who in it is worthy, and stay there till you go out. ¹² And when you go into a household, greet it. ¹³ If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. ¹⁴ And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.

This scripture tells us that if our message isn't received or heard that we are to "shake the dust from our feet."

Back in Jesus' time, when leaving Gentiles cities, pious Jews often shook the dust from their separation from Jewish practices. If the disciples shook the dust of a Jewish town from their feet, it would show their separation from the Jews who rejected their Messiah. Obviously if we went around literally shaking the dust off our feet, it would be nonsense to those in this generation since that practice is no longer common. So rather than taking it literally, we must look at the heart of what Jesus was saying: move forward. Don't keep knocking on someone's door who doesn't want to answer.

Just by reading this passage, there are two things that are clear: some will accept the message of the Gospel and some will reject it.

Some WILL reject it.

It wasn't you, you didn't smell bad, you aren't doing something wrong necessarily. Some people just wont hear or receive, but we can't let us detract us from the original purpose: Preach the Gospel...and keep on preaching (among all the other things noted in verse 7).

Perhaps you shared your faith, invited someone to church or told them about the Sexual Revolution but didn't get the response you were hoping for...

Figuratively, I encourage you today to shake the dust from your feet. Don't drag around the dust and dirt of past rejections. Shake off all that discouragement and move forward with the great purpose God has given you. Don't ever let a hard-hearted person stop you from moving forward with what God has called you to do.

Besides, who wants to listen to someone with dirty feet anyway?

Don't Settle,

Mel Miller

If

There are certain words that hold a lot of weight and IF is one of them.

Yes, I will marry you, IF…
I will love you forever, IF…
I am going to give you a huge inheritance, IF…
You will attain the career of your dreams, IF…

If someone were giving you one of these statements, you would want to know the IF. You would want to know what it takes to obtain the promise.

Deuteronomy 28: 1-14 lists out some amazing promises;

If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.

4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.

5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.

6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.

7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.

8 The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.

9 The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in obedience to him. 10 Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. 11 The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you.

12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. 13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.

Those are the kind of blessings I want over my life, but they come with that little weighty word. The first verse declares, “IF you fully obey the Lord your God…” IF is a big word, and so is FULLY.

Have you ever disobeyed God? Or only partially obeyed? Even though partial obedience doesn’t seem as “bad” in our eyes , it is still part of the IF that God requires for the incredible blessings he lays out for us.

Joyce Meyer says, “If you want to be radically and outrageously blessed by God, you must be radically and outrageously obedient.”

Are you disobeying God, partially obeying or fully obeying? If we want God’s full blessings, it requires our full obedience.

Don't Settle,

Mel Miller

Reflections from 7 years of Marriage

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 7 year wedding Anniversary! Each year that goes by, I thank God for his amazing Grace that has blessed us with a strong marriage, but I also use it as a time to reflect on the previous years. I think back to the mistakes we have made, things we have learned, areas we have grown, and memories we have shared. It saddens me to hear others who aren’t enjoying their marriages.

We haven’t done everything right, and our marriage is by no means perfect, but I do recall a few ground rules we set in our first year of marriage that (looking back) made all the difference.

1. No comparisons

Our pastor from Las Vegas always used to say, “The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water the grass.” This imagery stuck out to us and we agreed we would refuse to fall into the trap of comparisons. I cannot compare my husbands weaknesses with some other man’s strengths - and I certainly wouldn’t want him comparing me to other women either. Comparisons will ALWAYS lead to dissatisfaction in a relationship because there will always be someone better in one area or another. From the beginning of creation there was the temptation to fall into comparisons. Why were Adam and Eve kicked out of the garden of Eden? They chose to focus on the one thing they couldn't have, rather than focusing on the paradise that surrounded them. What would marriages across the globe look like if they refused to gaze at the grass somewhere else, but decided to cultivate, water and admire the grass that God gave them?

2. No “D” word

We agreed, early on, that the “D” word would not be used in our home. Divorce was not an option. You wouldn’t try to open a door that you knew was locked, right? In the same way, we shut that door in our minds and agreed to not entertain thoughts that would lead to division. When you know division isn’t an option, what is the only other option? Unity.

We understand there are many circumstances where Divorce is understandable and Biblical (Adultery, abuse, ect), but assuming those things never take place, the D word will gladly be forbidden in our home.

3. God first

Lastly, but most important, we agreed to put God first in our marriage. Human love and commitment can only go so far on it’s own strength. It runs out. It gets frustrated. It is impatient. It is based only on emotions and feelings (which come and go) and not enough on action. It was Christ’s love for us that compelled him to die on the cross, and I know he certainly didn’t feel like it! He demonstrated his love through an action - the most selfless action imaginable.

1 Corinthians tells us what love is. There isn’t any amount of human willpower that can achieve this perfect love, this love can only be achieved by putting God first.

(verses 13:4-8) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Don't Settle,

Mel Miller

What Matters to God

The other day, my daughter brought me a present. I have gotten cute pictures, crafts or even little wrapped toys, but I wasn’t expecting a cup full of potato bugs. “Oh, wow,” I said with a smile. “Thank you very much!” She was so proud of herself for catching me these new little pets. She had big plans of where we they could sleep, eat and play. All of her plans involved the bugs being inside the house.

Even though I had to redirect this gift to keep the bugs outside (and it certainly wasn’t my idea of a perfect gift), I still loved her heart that desire to bless mine.

In reading 1 Chronicles 17, David decided he was going to build God a house. David’s heart was so overwhelmed with a love to please God that he felt it would be a great idea to build a special place to put the ark of the convenant.

Guess what? The mighty David got it wrong! It wasn’t the perfect will of God for Him to build God a house, the Lord had it in mind for David’s son Solomon to do build it in the future.

God didn’t mock him, get angry with him, despise him or call him a fool. God looked at his heart -- his heart that desired to please Him -- and he blessed David.

1 Chronicles 17: 7-14 “Now then, tell my servant David, ‘This is what the LORD Almighty says: I took you from the pasture and from following the flock, to be ruler over my people Israel. ⁸ I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name like the names of the greatest men of the earth. ⁹ And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed. Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning ¹⁰ and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders over my people Israel. I will also subdue all your enemies.

“‘I declare to you that the LORD will build a house for you: ¹¹ When your days are over and you go to be with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, one of your own sons, and I will establish his kingdom. ¹² He is the one who will build a house for me, and I will establish his throne forever. ¹³ I will be his father, and he will be my son. I will never take my love away from him, as I took it away from your predecessor. ¹⁴ I will set him over my house and my kingdom forever; his throne will be established forever.’”

The passage is encouraging to me and it should encourage you as well. Even if we start to take a step in a direction that isn’t the perfect will of God, if our hearts intent is to please and honor God, he will bless us. He will redirect us if we aren’t headed in the right direction, but he will still bless us for having the right heart!

If you have been seeking direction from the Lord, ask yourself first about the WHY not the what. If what you are setting your heart to do is out of a pure desire to please and serve God, you can’t go wrong! God sees the why, he sees your motives and your heart. He may redirect you into a better plan, but he will not withhold his blessings from his child trying to please him!

Don't Settle,

Mel Miller